Team Bonding
by speedo fannypacker
Summary: Deciding that his team hasn't bonded quite enough, Gai sets up a bowling night for his kids. Just how excited will they be?


Hoo-rah! Lorene has returned with a new story. Well, this one should be over in like a month. Unlike my other story…AHEM. Enjoy!

Bowling night – Team Gai 

"Kakashi! My rival!" Gai bounded happily over to Kakashi who was leaning against the wall casually reading his dirty little books.

"Good morning, Gai," Kakashi flipped a page in his book, not bothering to look up.

Silence.

Kakashi and Gai stood there for a while, both of them not uttering a word. Gai rocked back and forth on his heels whistling nonchalantly with a giant grin on his face. Apparently, he wasn't going to leave anytime soon. Which wouldn't have really bothered Kakashi, but that whistling was really getting annoying.

Kakashi sighed and finally looked up from his book, "What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?" Gai asked confused.

"What did you WANT me to say?" Kakashi returned to his book.

"I'm not sure…but I wanted you to say something…and then I planned to ask a rhetorical question, which could possibly lead into the topic I was going to tell you about," Gai said, and continued, "but woe is me! You did not play along. I envy that cool composure you have," he placed his palm against his forehead.

Kakashi decided to humor Gai, "Okay, what is it that you want to tell me?"

Gai was just SO excited that he just blurted out, "Bonding!"

"What?"

"Bonding! Team bonding! You know!" he nudged Kakashi.

"Excuse me?" Kakashi stared at him.

Gai gasped in horror, "You've never done team bonding before?"

Kakashi almost laughed, the site of Naruto and Sasuke bonding was totally outrageous. He was about to ask Gai if he was mental or something, but then decided not to because he was afraid of the answer. Not that he couldn't answer it himself …

"No."

Gai gasped once again, "Oh me! Oh my! Kakashi you must start at once, that is why I came here today, and your team is obviously deprived of the pleasures of team bonding!"

"Right." Kakashi nodded and turned yet another page.

"So tomorrow you will go bowling with them at seven," Gai continued as Kakashi zoned out, "I'll be going with my team tonight, so you better not forget!" Gai pointed a finger threateningly at Kakashi.

"Did you say something?" Kakashi looked up.

Gai was on the verge of ripping his hair out; turning off to the side he shook his fist, "That cool composure…it gets me every time."

"I need to get going now, my teams waiting," Kakashi strolled off.

"Well, now that that's over I think I'll go join my team and tell them the great news!" Gai said, sauntering off into the sunset that wasn't actually there, but he'd like to think it was because it would be way more dramatic.

"That's a wonderful idea Gai!" Lee said.

"Do we really need to do more bonding?" Tenten sighed wearily.

"Wasn't all that other stuff you made us do in the past enough torture?" Neji asked.

"Torture? That was bonding my dear Neji!" Gai gave him a disapproving look.

"You call using me as target practice team bonding!" Ten ten said, outraged.

"Now, now you two, I know the excitement is getting to your head," Gai said, knowingly.

"What excitement?" Tenten asked incredulously.

"It's okay Gai," Lee patted him on the back, "I still believe it's a good idea."

"Thank you Lee!" Gai struck his pose and let his teeth go PING.

"What are we doing anyways?" Neji asked.

"Ahah! See look! Even Neji is getting interested," Gai pointed at Neji.

"No, I'm not, I'm just asking so when you tell me I can think up of some harsh remark and insult all of you at once," Neji retorted.

Gai chose to ignore that remark, "We're going bowling!"

"That's a relief, at first I thought you were going to that thing with the pumpkin again," Tenten shuddered.

"You will all meet me in front of the bowling alley at seven sharp!" Gai said in the tone that meant 'If you don't come, I'm going to personally drag you here.'

"And if we don't?" Neji arched an eyebrow.

"I'll do that thing with the pumpkin again," Gai said simply.

"Please don't," Neji rubbed his temples completely forgetting about the insult he had just thought up.

Ten ten was about to say something in protest but Gai had already walked away singing "Bonding bonding bonding…how I love to bond," she was tempted to throw every single shuriken and kunai she had in her pouch. But decided not to because Lee would probably stop her anyways.

"Bet you guys just can't wait till tonight huh?" Lee bounced up and down.

"You're kidding right?" Ten ten said.

"Of course not! Team bonding is the single most important thing!" Lee said truthfully.

"I thought you said beating Neji was the single most important thing," Tenten said bitterly.

"That too, but right now bonding is!" Lee looked a bit confused, like he couldn't decide which one was most important. Finally he picked something, "Neji! I challenge you to a fight!" he pointed a finger at Neji.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Oh come on just hear me-"

"No."

"You are so cold hearted…" Lee sighed.

Neji debated over the different outcomes of not fighting Lee, and fighting Lee. Since he had not yet vented today (his everyday I hate the main house vent) he needed SOMETHING to beat up, and that something could possibly be Lee.

But on the other hand he didn't want to have to waste energy on Lee and just end up listen to him rant on and on and on about how he was going to be a good ninja without the use of genjuitsu or ninjutsu.

"Actually, Lee I think I will fight you," Neji said, decisively.

"Really?"

"Yes."

I would go through the entire battle with very elaborate detail, but that would probably bore you to tears so I will sum it up for you: Neji gentle-fisted Lee to next Tuesday. And that's all you need to know.

"Lee are you alright?" Tenten poked Lee's badly bruised body on the ground.

"He won't be moving for a while," Neji brushed his shirt off.

"Gai won't be too happy about this…" Tenten shook her head and stared at Gai's prized student who was a steaming pile of green on the ground.

"Like I care," Neji tossed over his shoulder as he walked away.

"Shall we be getting you to the hospital then Lee?" Tenten slung his arm over her shoulder.

"Sorry Ten ten…" Lee murmured.

"Lee!" Gai barreled through the hospital looking for his injured student, "Lee!" he called once again running over some innocent bystanders. Finally finding the room he was looking for he knocked down the door almost smashing Ten ten in the prcess.

"Gai!" Lee looked surprised.

"Lee! What happened!" Gai panted.

"Neji beat the stuffing out of him," Tenten said.

Gai threw her a disapproving look.

"What?" she looked around.

"Don't worry Gai! I'll still be able to attend the bonding tonight!" Lee said proudly.

"That's my student!" Gai put on a pose.

"Oiy…" Ten ten shook her head.

"Oh, Ten ten how long have you been standing there?" Gai gave her a questioning look.

"I've been here longer than you have Gai," she glared at him.

"Have you really?" Gai gave her an incredulous look.

"Yes. In face I have…why?" she looked at him weirdly.

"Ten ten and Lee sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G" Gai sang childishly.

Lee's eyes widened as comprehension dawned, "I'm sorry Ten ten…you may feel that way about me! But my love belongs to my pink haired ninja," he paused dramatically, "Sakura!"

"Who said I felt that way about you!" Tenten bitch slapped Lee. She was close to popping a blood vessel.

"B-but…Gai…" Lee rubbed his cheek.

"Why must you always believe everything he says?" Tenten grumbled.

"I think I'm going to go ahead and leave seeing as you don't need me here," a new voice joined the medley, Neji spun around and was about to leave when Gai shouted, "Oh no! You must not leave Neji! The bonding has only just begun!"

"You guys seem to be having enough fun with out me," Neji said, inwardly cursing the main house for letting them have fun without him. Even though he wouldn't have had a very good time anyways.

"Well, no use standing her arguing, lets go begin the REAL bonding!" Gai pointed off to the distance with a twinkle his eye.

"Excuse me, but Lee can't leave the hospital until tomorrow morning," the nurse said tentatively, trying not to get too close to Gai.

"Nonsense! He will leave right now with his team and begin the bonding ritual," Gai boomed at the nurse who coward in fear.

"Gai, you're scaring her," Tenten held a hand out for the nurse.

"Get away!" she shouted and swatted her hand away.

"Bitch," Ten ten muttered following Gai and Lee.

"Must we REALLY wear these?" Neji held up the pair of bowling shoes Gai had handed to him.

"I suppose not…but you'd look so much more professional," Gai said.

"I'm wearing them!" Lee stood on one leg and showed Neji his foot.

"That settles it then," Neji pushed the shoes back to the man standing behind the counter, "I won't be needing these."

"But…it's a rule sir," the man pushed the shoes back at Neji.

"Excuse me?" Neji glared at the man.

"You need to wear these, it's required," the man stated again.

"No." Neji turned to walk away.

The guy that was behind the counter, we'll call him Moo just because we can, didn't seem to have such a nice temper so he picked up the shoes and hurtled them at Neji's head.

Neji, who didn't have his byakugan activated, got smacked in the head with the bowling shoes, nearly knocking him over and giving him a concussion. He cursed the main family for no reason at all, and then stood up to take care of Moo.

"Neji, stop," Tenten tried talking him out of it.

"No." Neji said hotly as he advanced towards Moo.

"Here we go…" Lee flopped onto the nearest bench and watched Neji gentle fist Moo to next Friday, which is considerably worse than gentle fisting till next Tuesday, mind you.

"Neji…did you REALLY need to do that?" Tenten stared at the man on the floor.

"Yes." Neji glared at her.

"Putting that aside!" Gai said rather cheerfully, "Lets get bowling!"

"Do we really have to?" Tenten whined.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! I get this ball!" Lee picked up a twenty-pound bowling ball with ease and showed Gai.

"Wow! Lee! I didn't even know they MADE twenty pound-pound bowling balls!" Gai marveled.

"That's because they DON'T," Neji said rolling his eyes.

"Then what's this!" Lee asked shoving the bowling ball in Neji's face.

"Lee, that bowling ball says ten pounds," Neji looked at Lee skeptically.

"It does not!" argued Lee as he pulled a sharpie, crossed out the numbers ten and zero and wrote twenty, "see?" he held it up.

"Whatever floats your boat, Lee," Tenten groaned, everybody else at the alley was staring at them like they were crazy.

"What do you want your name to be?" Gai asked sitting in front of the computer typing in names.

"Mine shall be: Konoha's beautiful green beast!" Lee pranced over and typed it in, only to have has face fall, "What is this nonsense!" he pointed at the screen, "it says there are too many letters!"

"Naturally, there has to be a limit, Lee," Neji said.

"That is ridiculous!" Gai bellowed staring at the screen.

"No, it's not," Tenten took Neji's side, "is this the first time you've been bowling Gai?"

"What makes you say that?" Gai looked up.

"For one, you're trying to stick your head into the place where the balls are returned to us," Neji pointed out.

"I knew that." Gai pulled his head back out, just narrowly avoiding a ball that had come back.

"I'll go first!" Lee grabbed the first ball within his reach, jogged up, and threw the ball with all his might. Which was pretty darn hard. It crashed through all the pins giving him a strike and almost knocking through the back where the machines were.

"Wow, Lee you're good," Tenten's eyes widened.

"As I expected of my student!" Gai hugged Lee.

"I guess I'll go next, unless you'd like to go?" Tenten looked at Neji who was sitting on the chair looking quite pissed off. She decided that he wanted to be left alone and decided to go.

She rolled the ball forward, but after a while it tipped off it's course and landed in the gutter surprising everybody.

"My gosh Tenten!" Lee gasped, "What happened to that perfect aim of yours?"

"This is unexceptable!" Gai shouted, "Tomorrow you must do 100 laps around the village!"

"What!" Tenten was about to walk over and slap Gai too, "you can't punish me for being bad at bowling!"

"I can! And I will!" he said decisively and glanced at Neji.

"What?" Neji asked glaring back at him.

"It's your turn," Gai handed Neji a ball.

"Go Neji!" Lee cheered.

"Here goes nothing…" Neji rolled the ball gently down the runway.

"Could you have pushed it any harder?" Tenten watched as the ball rolled slowly down the polished wood, hit the pins, giving him a strike. "Why am I the only person that sucks at this game?"

"Good job Neji!" Lee opened his arms welcoming Neji into a hug.

"Don't touch me." Neji glared.

"Well, it looks like Tenten losing right now," Gai pointed out the obvious.

"You don't need to rub it in," she grumbled.

"And now, it's my turn!" Gai picked up the same ball as Lee had used, "This ball must be lucky." He grinned.

"Oh Gai! You flatter me!" Lee struck a pose and grinned back.

"Why doesn't he ever praise us like that?" Tenten asked nobody in particular.

"Because we're not Lee," Neji answered, even though the question wasn't directed towards him.

"Well, you know not everybody can be like Lee," Tenten said irritably.

"Think about it this way," Neji said, "who WANTS to be like Lee?"

"Good point."

"Tenten, it's your turn again," Lee pointed at the television screen that showed three x's.

"What?" she turned around, "Oh."

Then Gai got an idea.

Which meant trouble.

"The loser of this game has to do TWO hundred laps tomorrow!" he announced.

"That's hardly fair! You guys all have strikes and I haven't even knocked a pin down!" Tenten pointed at the scoreboard.

"It's not our fault that we don't suck like you Tenten," Lee said hurtfully.

"Why I ought to…" she raised her fist and got ready to punch Lee, but Gai stopped her, "no more fighting you too, just go ahead and go. Tenten huffed and lowered her fist. She decided she would take her anger out at the bowling pins that were at the end of the lane.

Picking up a ball she sprinted and threw the ball as hard as she could. It went straight down the lane and smacked the pins giving her a strike. Tenten punched the air and let out a loud whoop, but then saw the damage she had made.

Her bowling ball had gone through the wall and hit one of the machines, killing all of lights.

"My bad?" she chuckled sheepishly.

"We need a maintenance check on lane four," a loud voice bellowed over the intercom.

"Uh oh…" Lee watched as the ninja staff advanced towards them.

"Everybody!" Gai rounded up the three of them, "EVASIVE ACTION 4!"

Now, you may ask, what exactly WAS evasive action 4?

Evasive action four was the move that Gai had thought up on their third try of bonding. Naturally, he made a mess and they had to think up of someway to get away before the caused a scene and got fined for it. So they created evasive action four. Oh, and just to clear things up, bonding number three happened to be the pumpkin incident.

The four of them stood in a formation with their kunai's out, waving them in a threatening manor. The staff-ninja backed off a bit but also pulled out kunai's.

"Looks like they aren't going down with a fight!" Gai flailed his arms even more.

"What should we do now Gai?" Lee followed in suit.

"Evasive action five!" Gai shouted tossing away his Kunai.

"I can't believe we are actually going to use this one," Neji sighed, dropping his kunai back into its pouch.

"I know, honestly, why can't we just pay the fine?" Tenten threw the kunai over her shoulder.

"Rodger!" Lee pocked his Kunai and cupped his hands togther, "HEY! WHAT'S THAT!" he pointed off into the distance. Being pretty stupid, as all staff-ninja are, because I mean come on they are working at a bowling alley, they all turned their heads to look.

"Run!" Gai lead the way as the team came hurtling out of the bowling alley.

After they had arrived at a secluded area, all four of them collapsed onto the ground in a heap, "We are NEVER doing that again," Tenten panted as she pushed herself up.

"I can't believe they actually fell for that," Neji gawked.

"I think we did a pretty good job," Lee just HAD to add a positive comment.

"Success! Evasive action owns everybody!" Gai hugged Lee, "Oh, by the way, did I tell you that Naruto's team is going bowling tomorrow? I hope the place is cleaned up by then, we did accidentally knock over some random staff-ninja.

"_Naruto, I feel so bad for you,"_ Neji said inwardly with as much sympathy as Neji could put in his voice.


End file.
